he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
