the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
