know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
