So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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