he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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