i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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