How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You smell like stripper and shame
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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