I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
operation harelip BJ is a go
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
