the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize