Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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