she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
PANTIES FOUND
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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