And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
