All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
