Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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