Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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