I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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