bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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