I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Everything about him screamed your future.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
