I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
