remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
tell me about the fingering
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
