I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
