so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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