I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize