yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We named our party play list daddy issues
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
