And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
