Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
