sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
