omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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