its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
