I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
