I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
