it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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