as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
