I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
