a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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