question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Come see our sink grown plant.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
