That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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