I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
is that a dick in a sweater?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize