If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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