im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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