I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
