Dual....:-)
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
