look no pants
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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