How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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