Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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