dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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