After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
