no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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