And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
