Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
