Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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