i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
