I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
