guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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