you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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