we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
