either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
