O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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