i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
