I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
