I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
