I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize