last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
