I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
