So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
